define me.

i know. sort of the longest silence for as long as this blog's been up.

because it's been bugging me, whether i'm allowed to say this or not. scroll down, there's that post about stagnating. yes. i'm still stagnating, in that leveling my main, or even my pure doesn't have any meaning. but. something came up. something totally unexpected. but more on it later, i like to break things slowly.

if you already know, meaning this post comes out second for today, then that's probably how you'd define me.

define me.

of course, i'd prefer if you did that in the context of me as a person. and i know that's a tad difficult though, so why not start like this, define me as a player.

that's how every other player would start, anyway.

there's the clothes. i've mentioned that before, scroll down to last month.

and most of all, there's the combat level.

i can see why they chose combat over total, or something. it's an indication of how much danger i pose to you. and when the colours highlight it as the main thing to note, next to the white username, then it's difficult not to asses a person on the sole basis of that.

asses being a softer word for judge.

and judging's wrong, and not judging's difficult. and what's even more so, is not defining yourself, not allowing yourself to be defined by that.

it's easy enough to say. i worked at bringing my combat up to 40. after that, i didn't pay it much mind. but that's another story altogether.

still, the mentality's faintly disgusting. i hear people complaining about being called n00bs. i don't encounter that as often as i'd expected to. and frankly, i don't mind all that much, although others certainly do.

what i do mind is the whole emphasis on combat. it's practical. it makes sense like nothing else would. yet, it's like a regression to the caveman mentality of how well you fight being a reflection of you. the whole you. i mean, i have a name. or, at least, a username. no need to go "level 57".

i go into this determined to keep my combat level exactly where it is, well below 70, below 60 even, just to prove that it has nothing to do with my character, it has nothing to do with my experience, it has nothing to do with the person sitting here typing.

and i'll hear jaws drop when i open my mouth. to be exact, when i hit enter.

of course, i won't say it outright. but my presence screams it, almost. the whole combat thing?

stuff it.