(self)friend.

i find warlock cute. as in, little kid cute. warlock from one of the too many groups boasting an affiliation to the x-men. the way he says things. or just the one phrase that sticks. self friend. (rahne.) weird, but cute.

so that shall be the title of this post. adding, so it isn't as boring as a title. i do suppose he meant, my friend.

that said, i don't quite know who my real friends are anymore. on runescape, that is.

when big things happen, i tend to measure time, and things past by it. before, and after. it's just that those things tend to be superficial, and i end up forgetting the true nature, if you will, of that big event, when i'm swamped with everything else cosmetic. i know i'm not making sense, i'm sorry.

i was freaked. now, i'm just tired.

most people on my friends list on rs just don't log in again, ever, as far as i know. with my friends on rs, i'll talk to them almost everyday. heck, i'll log in just to talk to them, sometimes, but after a few weeks, they'll just disappear, and don't seem to log in ever again.

and i'll miss them, and i drift till i find someone else to talk to.

now, i've got more than my fair share of "friends".

some people are curious, some people take me to be a sentient knowledge base/world clock/quest guide/price guide, some people flame me.

i can take that. i almost enjoy those situations, when i'm taunted, because i'm tested, i need to give a response that doesn't provoke, and is right. what i can't quite stand are the suck ups. one i know's been called that to his face, within my hearing. it's that obvious, even without pm.

it's like, they're acting, they're showing a face to me that isn't theirs, at all. and i don't quite know what to do about it. they ask, i say, be yourself.

in their answer it's just as obvious they have no intention of doing anything of that sort.

and i know i'm just as guilty, sometimes, of acting like a person i'm not. what's worse is, i can't fault them, they're doing nothing wrong, they're being great, really. like the world, real life. so hypocrisy goes on, hypocrites remain pretty much untouchable, and hypocrisy is just let alone, simply because it's valued above outright disrespect by those who matter.

so. my friends list finally reached its f2p limit.

i'm forced to indiscriminately delete the names that come after. and i don't quite understand why people i converse with just don't understand that being on someone's 'freinds list' makes you no more of a friend than the random stranger.