acessorising, 1 1/2

ohh enough of psychoanalysis and criticism. i'm sorry if all that offended you, when i read it i know some of it's too harsh, i know i'm not saying what i should, or what i really do think, just what goes with my mood at that time, or what's just happened.

in any case. welcome back for (drumroll) ... acessorising episode II!

(superficiality to go with the dischantment, and superficiality to match.)

i've met someone who's totally fashion-conscious. which is rare, 'cos he's happens to be a guy. not that there's anything remotely wrong with that, it's just good to actually have some fashion advice.

anyway. been sworn not to reveal his trade secrets so i'll settle for the eccentric and ecletic, since that's what you got last time, anyway.

hm. come to think of it, not ecletic at all. never mind. when dressing to impress, i wear the princess blouse and skirt. power ammy. skull sceptre. red cape. coloured gloves. how boring. post isn't going quite the way i expected.

lessee. on my skiller, i dress in black. default clothes black. black long-sleved midriff baring top. black pants. black shoes. red cape. works with the red hair. cut into a bob. i'm still bored. can't remember what exactly it was i was planning to say here.

ahwell. there you have it. make it 1 and 1/2. hardly deserves II status.

be nice.

"nice" isn't a good word. it wasn't meant to be, not in shakespeare's time, and i daresay not when it was thought up. neither now, wouldn't be too bad an idea either.

nice is a word you use to describe someone you don't know. it's a word for a stranger that can pass off as an acquaintance. it's a word you write on cards when you don't have any anecdotes to put down. it's a neutral word with positive connotations and a whole different implication underneath. "what's she like?"

"she's a nice girl."

nice what. nice how. nice she can suck up? nice she can act? nice she's so nondescript there isn't any nicer adjective to describe her.

i'm nice, people say.

people mean, i suck.

so most people don't get that meaning. so most people don't think. so most people are inane enough to take niceness as an acceptable (i'm not even saying commendable) exterior.

or maybe it's idealism. don't ask me.

never mind that i'm advocating niceness. "that wasn't very nice..." to initiate peace. "be nice? :)" as an answer to a stupid question.

i want to say to them. niceness isn't an attitude. isn't an action. isn't a mode you switch to just because you want the rewards for it. it's a way of life.

it's not niceness, per se. it's a side effect of goodness, of morality, of just being bloody human. so say my standard of what it is to be human isn't reasonable. to me, that's what it is. a lesser manifestation of all those things.

nice isn't buying an inventory full of newcomer maps, or making iron meds and distributing them. we've got a word for it here. that word's extra. it's called, condemming that person, and every other person who has the misfortune to meet them and dare to have a combat level higher than their own, by instilling in them the value that begging's right.

nice isn't dispensing useless advice to choobs of high-leveled players who aren't going to insult intelligence they think you have by telling you otherwise. read the knowledge base if you don't know anything. google it. what is wrong is your laziness, not anything about the game, not by far.

don't give me that crap called cynicism, because i'm not buying it. being realistic is one thing. faith is another all together. they can co-exist. they do. suck on th at.

finally...

yes! the skull sceptre's finally complete. a fair few months of searching, and there it is.

no! what do i do next?

edit: okay okay. i'll take a cue from the keywords. a skull sceptre just looks nice. stats; nothing much to speak of, the only good thing about it beyond that whole cosmetic bit is the ability to teleport to barbarian village 5 times before it disintegrates. or vapourises. or whatever. haven't even used it to teleport before, don't know of anyone who has...

edit 2: saves a space in your inventory if you're in the wildy, rather than teleport runes, but why anyone should want to bring that thing into the wildy is beyond me...

a return to newbness.

sometimes i forget how entirely restricting it is not to have mage high enough for every f2p teleport, laws, money (i'm talking even just 1k), or friends willing to associate with you and go on during times that coincide with your own.

i don't quite get the phrase n00b. i mean, i know it's insulting, and i take it to mean low-leveled, but i'm told the real meaning's something more than an insult to ability, but leaning more towards one of character. and that, i daresay i can't usually be faulted for ingame any longer. therein lies the justification for the title.

what really gets to me is how easy it is to level skills. i go from 1 mining to 21 in a day. i get smithing up by 15 levels the next. all through it i just gape...

that's the great thing about newbness. on to n00bness.

to put things into perspective, this is what i used to be like. (or, it could be entitled, you knowy you're a n00b when...)

• you take 2 hours to complete tutorial island.
• you head straight for draynor mansion after you die because of all the great respawns there. bucket, gloves, sheares...
• you think al kharid's a members area when you find out about the 10gp toll payment. and you are therefore
• so pleased with yourself because it seems as though you've gained acess to a members area by paying just 10gp...
• you admire the level 3s dressed in default clothes who don't talk for their high woodcutting level.
• you're so happy with yourself when you figure out there's a way to varrock via lumby and al kharid.
• you think it's so smart of you to make use of the world map.
• the concept of the wildy enthralls you.
• even after you've died.

all true. eh. i'll come up with more later. but you get the idea...

i'll differentiate between that and this, because newbness is just plain restrictive. i want to change people's perceptions. i want to do that through my skiller, and show them that character has nothing to do with combat level. i know i've said that lots of times before. i know i'll say it again.

negativity you don't need.

edit: before you continue reading. i save frustrations like these for my blog. mind you, i wouldn't dare lash out like that ingame. it's too compromising.

ingame,

i'm friggin lonely.

large proportion of my friends who still log on are away. the rest of the players on my friends list are, for the most part, egotistical suck ups i can't rightly stand to have a conversation with. i've had enough of false faces now to concentrate on training my skiller and blogging. (bear in mind, my skiller's only three days old, and has 28 mining, 16 smithing, 7 crafting and counting.)

it's not loneliness born of being ignored. it's the loneliness in logging in and being greeted with heys from three people who aren't even on your friends list, and whom you deleted from there long ago for reasons that you meant to be obvious to the both of you. (of course, the fact that they're only saying hey because that's how you greet people doesn't exactly do wonders either.)

in a particularly foul mood the other day, i simply ignored them. especially the guy who either can't count the appropriate number of exclamation or question marks necessary, or has an entirely too twitchy ring finger. of course i feel bad immediately afterwards, and reply the next i log in. i am just waiting for that person obnoxious enough to call me "friend" after making demands so unreasonable i was about to put him on ignore to ask why i don't respond. i'll reply sweetly "i'm sorry, it was kind of crowded back there, so i had to put my private chat on friends..."

if that isn't heavy-handed enough, i don't know what is.

perhaps the missive i blasted at the guy who happened to get (mistakenly, i'll admit) what was coming to a newer (more deserving too) annoyance might've done a better job. he'd been pestering me to add some guy, cooo[undetermined number of o's]ool xx, apparently a good friend of his. for some reason he refused (or simply lacked the capacity) to understand why i refused to add him. first off, someone with a name like that doesn't sound all too simulating a conversationalist. (not that i told him that much. i'm not that insensitive.) what i did tell him "you do realise even you aren't on my freinds list, i add you as and when you pm me. no offense, but if your friend has any questions, tell him to feel free to pm me, i'll do the same for him."

i cannot stand those people whom i soo feel like asking "do you need anything, or have i just been landed with another pest with a ego so hugely inflated i can't see past it to begin with?"

obvious lonliness isn't nearly so bad as knowing that everyone you're surrounded by has teeth.

about the forums. call THIS my personal rant(s).

no, i haven't magically acquired a membership since last i've blogged. still. the forums are open to whomever it pleases to partake of (for the most part) adolescent inability to use proper english, or contain emotions into comprehensible words. (i'm partial to a lack of capitalisation. most words don't hardly seem to deserve it. and no, not poor grasp of the language. lack of situational awareness. sloth. as you might call said lack of capitalisation. i'm still trying to decide.)


jagex is a company. jagex is liable. jagex can be sued. officially.

officially, they forbid under-13s to play the game. but. regardless. the knowledge base's parent-friendly. the censor's kid-friendly. the whole game's structured, or has been restructured to meet the needs (or demands, if you're that conscious of how you name your spades) of a progressively younger player base.

a younger player base of which a substantial proportion lack the emotional maturity or moral direction to even interact socially without incident. factor in the adults who use this combination to their advantage with that (culturally-induced. i know, alright? my irritations aren't irrational) awfully pragmatic mindset of monetary gain, it gets...faintly sickening.

but enough of that. on to the point of this post.

i do believe jagex tries too hard to keep players cossetted and mollycoddled like some sort of warped online dictatorship of a intended-utopian dystopia.

only threads i frequent are those housed in the rants forum.

ignore what i said in that earlier post. the macro problem's beyond ridiculous. and jagex creates a stickie banning rants on that precise thing. although it gets faintly sickening listening (even to an outsider like me) to people repeat the same thing over and over again, the same rants about macros, covering your ears isn't going to help any. it's still there.

catering to a lazier player base lacking in drive isn't the answer either. home teleport my foot. popular rant topic, and not without cause. grating as it is to read though the posts of unreasonable, petty, spoiled ... people, the rants've more than their fair share of gems. well-thought out posts, not so much rants as justifiable questions. and question they should. home teleport nullifies the effect of the mom teleporting bots some place ruddy lousy software can't get those pixels out of. i would've been disgraced, ashamed to have to use home tele to find my way out of a mess. now it's just a matter of convenience my choob shouldn't have.

disproption. not jagex's fault. the compliments forum's full of people professing their love for "mods! forum mods, game mods, jagex mods, dual mods..." there's more than enough of that around, flattery isn't going to get you a thing, not from me, and not from any other self-respecting person mature enough to have been appointed fairly into that position. it just makes people nervours, and annoyed, because it's as if fishing for compliments, and when there's nothing commendable about the flatterer, it's hard to show more sincerity than was received to begin with. i can't quite put my finger on it, but that isn't the face of sincere gratitude. i don't like the idea of false flattery. so sue me.

whereras the rants forum. threads about the ineffectiveness of mods, or the system, simply aren't as well entertained or received. can't elaborate more here, it's just, that. dispropotionate.

and what're the forums without forum mods. to tell the truth, (as a game mod myself) i respect forum mods much more than the typical game mod. it takes so much more courage to act the way you should when all that's immortalised (fine, i'm exaggerating, but you get the picture) in words that remain even when you aren't around to take them back, or explain them. and when you talk, you're speaking to so many more people than can bear imagining at that moment of discourse, and it's so much more difficult to stand firm and defend your opinions, or be able to rightly justify them in an intelligent manner when you're being flamed.

then the life of it's so public. frankly i'm glad there isn't a list of game mods around like there is one on the forum mods. i'd be piss scared of being hacked. worse still, of people pming me ingame or something. it's a life almost less private than zezima's, and that's saying alot, and that's true, because the guy who maxed out the hiscores for a time appeals to the imagination, fufils a need for some sort of larger than life hero. while mods people don't mind so much treating like dirt because it's not like any claim was made of being that much better, if at all. which is also true.

and things suck, as things do. but more's the time i lose sight of how the things that suck don't outnumber (not by far) the things that don't. i haven't, right now. i do suppose that's what rants do.

keep ranting people. we'll all be waiting.

so many.

so many people begging.

attitude shift, perhaps?

it's demeaning. diminishing your sense of self worth.

stop already.